Society preaches that being in a relationship is what life is all about and being single is something that should not be tolerated, especially when you reach a certain age. Not to mention, the sad reality is that many of us get into relationships just so that we would not be alone with our thoughts, problems and emotions when darkness falls. As you probably guessed, this post is on singlehood and of course, being single has its disadvantages but boy, does it have its advantages. So let’s talk about them!
You get to be selfish. In relationships, there is no space for being selfish, you made your decision to take part in this relationship and so you have to live with that. Not only do you have to spend precious time with these individuals but there are all these money-making holidays and events you have to spend money on. However, the good news with being single, you get to keep all yo’ money and spend it wherever and whenever you see fit (for the purpose of this post we will pretend that we actually have money). Not to mention, your sentences are made up of more ‘I’s instead of ‘We’s and you get to do you all day erryday!
You can find/ perfect your purpose. Many of us are still clueless of our purpose in this life/ finding a career that suits us and you know what, that is A okay. Luckily, when you are single you get to experiment with certain hobbies, interests, courses, hair colours etc and why is that? Because you just have so much time to think of you and you alone. I am not saying that this cannot happen in relationships, but the fact remains that arguments are inevitable and during those times, a considerable amount of time is spent pondering over the situation and resolving it. We singles are here like ‘What is an argument again?’ Not to mention, the time gone in creating memories with your significant other, could have been used in finding/ perfecting your craft.
You can grow closer to your Maker. Love is a beautiful thing. In many relationships we tend to give our significant other priority and there is nothing wrong with that until we leave out the most important person in our lives, God. However, God is not the only person we push aside, we push aside friendships and family members because we are caught up with our relationships. Many of us are guilty of this and sometimes you cannot help it. But during singlehood, you can take your time alone to refocus on Him and what He wants you to do. Moreover, you get to rebuild/ form stronger bonds with your family members and friends and the funny thing is when you are focused on the things that really matter, God drops the guy/ girl of your dreams right on your lap.
You can figure out your likes and dislikes. If you recently got out of a relationship, you are probably salty as hell! However, as time goes on and your healing process begins, you get to do a lot of introspection. You figure out what you liked and what you disliked in your past relationships, what you want in someone and what you are not going to tolerate in anyone. Yes my friend, you get to be PICKY! And whoever tells you such, thank them for their compliment because you have earned that right. In singlehood, when you take that time for yourself and really ask yourself some hard questions, who in their right mind is going to go back to the same old choices they made before their breakups? In this time you are supposed to nourish your body, mind and soul and make wiser decisions next time, which leads to my final point.
Becoming whole. Devon Franklin, on his appearance on The Real talk show made a powerful statement and it goes something like this “Marriage is not two halves; it’s two WHOLES.” What this is essentially saying is take the time to fill yourself up with God, take the time to know yourself, love yourself and nurture yourself. Often times we find ourselves being defined by what our friends, family members or even strangers think of us. We fill ourselves up with these useless opinions and we lose ourselves and allow anyone and anything to fill us up from that point onwards. However, during singlehood you can actively work on becoming whole, not only for you future self but for your future partner. Think about it really for a moment. Do you want someone who is not too sure of themselves, constantly seeking reassurance from others, one foot in, in the relationship and not too sure if they want you or the next girl in their messages? No, no one wants that in a partner! Therefore, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ if you want someone who is whole, then you better has start working on yourself because what you give is what you get!
To end, wear your singlehood proud guys, there is a lot of learning to be done in this stage of your life so take advantage of it while you can.
‘I am not single because something is wrong with me, I am single because everything is RIGHT for me’ (Devon Franklin).
Thank you guys for reading! Until next time, be good to yourselves!