Dump him or not?

From the situations I have been in and witnessed, there is more or less a commonality when it comes to men bearing these signs – they are no good! So without further ado, here are five signs that ladies should look out for in their significant other and guys, these signs are for what NOT to do.

SIGN #1

Getting TOO comfortable. In relationships, both partners will inevitably get comfortable with each other. However, there is a thin line between comfort and respect. I know there are couples out there who curse each other, call each other all kinds of names and for them that is okay. However, when you cross that line, there is no going back, unless you put him in his place immediately. For example, you are in a relationship for about a year now and currently it’s a norm for y’all to call each other names and curse each other and in this scenario he calls you a “sloppy ass bitch” because you told him of an argument you had with your sister because of an unwashed cup in the kitchen sink and you respond saying “you’re such an asshole” and then y’all both laugh it off  hehe cahcah and occurrences like this continue? Run! Let me explain why…

In the beginning of the situationship, let’s say a month in – you’re feeling him, he’s feeling you and y’all begin to get comfortable with each other. Hypothetically a situation arises and he calls you a “bitch” for whatever reason. Are you going to laugh it off in that moment, especially since you do not have any deep rooted attachments with him? NO! you’re probably going to feel offended and show him the real bitch in you, by putting him in his place. So if it was not right then, how can it be right now? Another reason I am saying this is a sign because if you are allowing him to disrespect you in private, you’re indirectly giving him the right to disrespect you in public in front of friends and family would you feel all “giddy” inside still if that is to occur? The verbal disrespect will lead to further disrespect throughout the relationship and we all know what that means. This sign does not only entail the name calling and cursing each other, it includes things like: thinking he can message you when he feels like, going out without telling you anything because “it’s nothing,” not treating you like he first did on days you found important like celebrating Valentine’s or birthdays.

comfortable.png

 

SIGN #2

Having a needy female “best friend.” Many will disagree with this one but hear me out. In theory to some it may sound cool that he has a female best friend and y’all will get along great together right? WRONG! Now, I am not saying that you cannot trust any man with a female best friend but you must observe his actions in this case.

Not only will this “best friend” be coming down heavy on him saying things like “since you booed up you can’t message me” or another famous one “we don’t lime as much as we used to” umm no kidding bih! As you stated previously he is indeed all booed up. I understand the best friend’s point of view, in that some friends do ghost on you and leave you in the dust when they are in relationships and sometimes they do need a reminder. However, some of these “best friends” be pushing it, by wanting to hang out every day and constantly messaging them.

Now after hearing his “best friend” cries, the guy with his “soft heart” now feels an obligation to go and hang out with her and message her more often but now faces a dilemma in terms of knowing exactly how his girlfriend would feel if that is to occur. So you know what make his dilemma easier and dump him! First of all, I should never be a choice, only a priority and secondly that could never be your best friend because as a fellow woman I would hope she understands that if she was to be placed in a similar situation she definitely would not be sitting comfortable at home knitting, while her man is out with another woman (unless all THREE of us are going). Moreover, as his “best friend” I would hope you understand that of course things will change now that he has a significant other, it does not change the love he has for you, but yes we obviously will be hanging out and talking less.

 

SIGN #3

Lazy.

“A poor man is a lazy man”

I am pretty sure, you may have heard the saying or some variation of the one mentioned above. I do not know about you but one of the biggest turn offs is an unambitious man. Then what your name man for?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you have to be a millionaire by the age of 30.  However, whatever your passion is, whatever you want in this life, I want to see the drive, you taking your own initiative and not waiting on other people, believing in yourself and your dreams, making the necessary steps forward to achieve your goals etc. Nobody says it’s going to be easy but I rather see you taking small steps forward than taking no steps at all.  Ladies beware of the “dreamsellers” as I call them. They start off real good. Talking about they want to save the planet, change the world, become president, things sounding real nice. Mhm, yeah so the next question  you need to ask when he comes with that is “Have you been involved in any clean up activities, volunteering initiatives, charity organizations….ever?”

Him: “Well.. not really, I want to but never get the time”

Never got the time? But you talking like Martin Luther King Jr every day bawling “I have a dream….”? Yeah girl, run! And don’t think you can change him, which brings me to the fourth sign.

 

SIGN #4

Having a 2.9 GPA and under (If he is going to school). I was going to say a 3.0 but that will leave like….. yeah you catch my drift. This is not to say that you have to be Einstein to not get dumped and this does not have to do with your level of intelligence either, but more to highlight their work ethic. From a broad perspective, it tells you a lot about how they juggle their personal lives, their social lives and work lives. It tells you how well they manage their time, how well they cope with stress etc.

If their social life is A1, he does not give two cahoots about his work and he treats you merely okay. You done know what to do. Of course, there are people with GPA’s of over 3.8 and are still dumpable (unless you’re a gold digger and all you see is dollar signs in his future and so decide to stick it out, despite him treating you horribly. Hey to each his own). His social life may be poor, his work ethic, impeccable and he leaves your messages there for hours/ y’all hardly go out, because he was doing work. Yeah time to go! How well you manage all three lives, gives one so much insight on the type of person they have on their hands. Finally, there are those whose social lives are pretty good, work ethic is poor and gives their all to you. Sounds nice huh? But one question, how we eating?

This is all to say, that in life there must always be a balance.

 

balance

 

SIGN #5

He treats you less than a queen. This is a bromide statement, however it is a very important one. If he treats you any less, why are you wasting your time? It must be stated that this can only occur if you know your self-worth and you are not dependent on anyone or anything for your validation. Best believe, men know when you are dependent on them and some will definitely trample and take advantage of you when you’re weak and down trodden. This is all to say, that if you do not know your worth now, it is okay. However do not go seeking it out from others, work on you first before you enter into any relationship. So ladies, please fix thy crown!

 crown

So this brings it to an end. I have so much more but for this post we will stick to those important five. Until next time be good to yourselves and look out for these dudes! Click the follow button below and comment your thoughts and suggestions !

 

 

 

Photo source: Google Images

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s